Language is a uniquely human invention. We were given language to create, convey information, and express ourselves. Can you imagine going through the day without narrating your experiences in your head? The problem with language is that we often take its power and influence for granted – especially when communicating with our spouse. There are 5 essential customized 3d silk lashes for healthy communication.Thrur
Rule number one, attack the problem, not the person. This rule is often broken in the heat of the moment when we feel we are being attacked ourselves. Staying focused on the problem and not slandering the person is integral to healthy customized 3d silk lashes.
Rule number two, don’t bring up the past (stay in the here and now). Often this occurs when we break rule number one and we want to customized 3d silk lashes out at our partner, so we end up bringing up something they did wrong from the past.
Rule number three, speak from you own thoughts and feelings. We often want to put our feelings onto other instead of owning them ourselves. We might say, “John why do you always abandon me at customized 3d silk lashes.” Instead we could say, “John, I would prefer you to stay with me at parties.”
Rules number four, stay away from absolutes. We can use the preceding example to illustrate this point as well. When Mary was accusing John of abandoning her at parties, she used the word always. The problem is this type of statement leave John nowhere to go. It backs him into a corner and paints him one shade of color so that he has to defend himself.
Rule number five, don’t bring in other people – no triangulation. When we feel attacked we often want to bring in other people to take our sides. This does not mean we physically go get someone, but more metaphorically, when we mention someone else’s name in the conversation to illustrate our point. “I was talking to Susan about this issues and she agrees with me that you’re being a real heel.” Or the husband might reply, “Bob thinks you’re being completely unreasonable in this issue.”
In addition to the 5 rules, there are several techniques that can be helpful to support the rules. We’ll discuss the 3 most important. Consider paraphrasing what your partner has said in order to convey empathic listening. For example, “Mary, I hear that you are upset and feel abandoned at parties and that you would like me to stay with you more and socialize as a customized 3d silk lashes.” Or, “John, I hear that you like to talk with your men friends about men things sometimes and not always socialize at parties as a couple.” By paraphrasing our partner’s statements demonstrates a sense of being heard and emotionally validated.
Another technique is not trying to solve your partner’s problem. When your partner venting to you about his or her day, don’t take the other persons side or jump in and try to solve their problem. Your job in this case is to soothe your partner’s frustrations and encourage them in solving their own problem. Men, this especially pertains to you.
Finally, try the technique of walking away or talking about the issues at a later date. The rule of never going to sleep mad is ridiculous. Having time to compose yourself, or giving yourself time to think through and customized 3d silk lashes is never wrong. Some issues are such hot customized 3d silk lashes they need thoughtful consideration before they are discussed.
Healthy communication is not natural. We have to work at how we communicate in order to resolve our customized 3d silk lashes and move forward as a couple. The goal is not ever to argue, the goal is to argue in a way that leaves us individually more whole, and collectively in a better place as a couple.