‘It’s HIS fault!’ ‘It was THEM, not ME!’ ‘I didn’t ask to be born!’ Yes, saying this type of thing anytime is a big natural mink individual lashes that will make any type of relationship rockier than it should be.Thrur
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But the biggest mistake? Believing that it is true!
It is such a huge mistake because you are denying your own responsibility for what happened. ‘Me’, you ask? ‘Responsible for what the other guy did or said’, you ask? Oh, yes!
All the Great Masters of the ages have said it: the number one way to personal freedom, spiritual growth and the experience of oneness, is to take ownership (aka responsibility) for everything that happens in your world. And that means everything that goes your way… And everything that doesn’t…
The huge thing to do if you are improving Self and looking at improving your life is to say… “Oops. Let’s look at how this is my creation.” Do you notice I don’t say “my fault“, but “my creation“?
Why blame yourself? But you did create it, and saying “my creation” is a more neutral approach to the matter, don’t you think?
At first it may seem that this takes a lot of personal courage. It takes brutal honesty. And of course, since you probably already natural mink individual lashes out blaming the other person, it may take some groveling to say “I’m sorry”!
But get it together, look at what preceded the incident, and examine your part in the whole thing.
What do you do next (besides apologize for natural mink individual lashes out)? Ask yourself, “It may – or may not – be true that it is the other guy’s fault, but what is my role in creating this?” Just look at things you said, did – or didn’t say or do – to create this. Try to see it: Everything in your world is indeed your own creation.
It takes a little practice, I grant you that! Be courageous. There are suppressed feelings and negative reactivity here. And honestly look for them. Would you prefer to hang on to the negative feelings… or does moving into infinite love and gratitude sound like a happier place to hang out?
Sure, others may have subconsciously been mutual to co-create an incident with you. But in your life? You are the primary creator of everything! Each and every one of us is a powerful creator!
Taking responsibility lifts you out of the negative energy – like apathy or blaming/shaming feelings. Be courageous. Just by physically throwing your shoulders back takes you into a more positive energy, isn’t this true?
Sit down right now and make a list of all the good stuff – and the not-so-nice stuff – that is in your life and in your experience. Ask yourself, “How did it come to be? What was I doing, thinking and feeling at the time it came along?”
Being a powerful creator of everything in your life is a skill, really! These questions will help you see “how you did it”. If you don’t like what you’ve got, stop doing whatever it was you identified as the creative moment. And if you like what you have… keep on doing it!
Tamma Ford is Programs Leader at ARC-A Realized Community which presents the self-growth work of American Master Lester Levenson (1909 – 1994). See more about Tamma .
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This program is designed to help anyone easily identify and let go – permanently – of negative, un-useful thoughts and feelings. Doing so over time has proven to improve happiness levels, create harmony and flow in life, create better health and more abundance for anyone… and lead to a totally Quiet Mind if that is your goal.